


Broken Soul

by chstains



Category: The Maze Runner (Movies), The Maze Runner Series - James Dashner
Genre: Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-06
Updated: 2018-03-11
Packaged: 2019-03-28 00:36:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,864
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13892514
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chstains/pseuds/chstains
Summary: Written from Teresa's POV.Focuses on her growing friendship with Newt and her feelings about betraying her friends.Takes place during Movie! The Scorch Trials.





	1. Hope Among Chaos

It’s been two days since I betrayed my closest friends and I feel like a fraud.  
I hate myself for having done this to them, but deep down, I know it is for the greater good. Or at least that’s what I keep telling myself to feel a bit better. The truth is, the guilt is eating me alive. I will never forget the look on Thomas’s face when he realized what I had done. But he couldn’t possibly understand. How could he? Ever since WICKED had given me back my memories, I had felt overwhelmed. Everything I had once believed in came back, hitting me hard. That had been tough. But what came after was worst. From the moment we escaped the WICKED facility, I knew I was left with only one option. And that was betraying the people I cared the most about. I’ve thought about it for a really long time. It even crossed my mind, at some point, that I shouldn’t do that to them. That we could find another way. But then, Winston got infected and I decided that I couldn’t continue to let this happen. If there was any chance that we could find a cure, I had to take it. And so every day after Winston’s death, I’ve been trying to find a way to contact WICKED. I felt awful. I couldn’t even look at my friends, I couldn’t stand to see their eyes filled with hope. The night we found Jorge and Brenda, I knew I had an opportunity. There was this man, standing in the corner of the room where Jorge had questioned us. I had noticed him immediately. He didn’t look thrilled about Jorge running the place. The nasty looks he was giving him… it was clear that this wasn’t somebody you could trust. But I had to be smart. I couldn’t risk stealing the radio he had on him. The call had to come from him. Soon enough, I realized I had been right. It didn’t take long until we heard Janson’s voice ordering us to surrender. The man had sold us all out. I was relieved, in a way. I hadn’t directly betrayed them but still, the guilt was still there. It didn’t last long though. A few minutes later, Jorge had managed to blow up the entire abandoned factory, leaving everyone on their own. I barely had time to steal a radio before everything fell apart. I didn’t know where Thomas was. Brenda had also vanished. I was left with Newt, Minho, Frypan and Jorge who told us that we’d eventually find them. We headed for the mountains, hoping Thomas and Brenda would too and that we would cross paths.

Two days after we had been separated, I was trying to see things from a different angle. Having my memories back also meant remembering what I was working on before WICKED sent me into the maze. And as much as I hated to admit it, Thomas was a key element that they desperately needed. And I didn’t want to contact them while Thomas wasn’t with us. So we searched for them for two days straight. Having found nothing, we decided to rest for a few hours. I didn’t like resting because it meant not doing anything, not being active. And when that happened, the guilt I had buried inside of me came rushing back. I couldn’t talk to anyone because of how ashamed I felt. That’s a pretty shitty feeling, having to internalize your every thoughts. But that night, something unexpected happened. I was trying to shut down the voices in my head telling me I was nothing more than a coward when I heard someone sobbing. I got up carefully so as not to wake anyone up and headed for the little backyard behind the house we had decided to stay in. There, I found Newt, sitting in the only chair we had managed to find. He was crying. Him and I weren’t very close so I didn’t quite know what to do. He must have heard me though, because he turned and quickly wiped his tears.

\- You scared me, he said.  
\- Sorry.

I awkwardly sat in front of him, not knowing what to say. He looked in my direction and when he saw I had no intention of leaving, he threw the chair away and sat in the grass, next to me. We looked at each other and all I could see in his eyes was sadness. The last time I had seen him like this was the day Chuck died.

\- Are you okay? I asked, already knowing the answer.  
\- Yeah, I just couldn’t sleep, don’t worry about it.

I rolled my eyes, smiling. Typical Newt.

\- Are you okay? I asked again, with an insistent look.

He looked quietly at his feet. I really wanted him to talk to me because even though we weren’t that close, I considered him a friend. I didn’t know if he felt the same way about me and quite frankly I didn’t care. Tonight, I just wanted to be there for him. I’ve waited a bit before getting up.

\- I’m going to get water, want some?

He nodded.

\- I’ll be right back.

I headed for the kitchen, or what was left of it, and poured two glasses of water. It was really hot that night, as it had been for the past two days. The cold water rushing down my throat felt good so I poured myself another glass and went back to the backyard where Newt was waiting for me. I sat back down and watched him drink his water quietly.

\- I’m not okay, he said, after a while.

I looked at him, glad he had decided to talk to me.

\- Do you want to talk about it? I asked, softly.  
\- I just… I just don’t know how to put it. You were the last person I expected to talk to. No offence, he added.  
\- None taken, I responded.

He had a point. It would make more sense for him to talk to Minho or anyone else, really. But something had brought us together, so I decided not to waste this occasion.

\- So what’s botheri—  
\- It’s about Th—

We spoke at the same time, which made us laugh. It felt good, it felt really good. Laughing. Just for a second, we were these normal teenagers who didn’t have to run for their lives.

\- You go ahead, I said.

The smile slowly spread off his face and sadness flooded through him again. When he spoke, his voice was soft.

\- It’s about Thomas. Ever since he showed up in the maze, nothing has ever been the same for me. You probably don’t know this but I’ve spent three years behind these walls. Three years wondering how I had ended up there. Three years not knowing if I would ever get out. I couldn’t remember what my old life used to be but I knew that nothing could’ve been worst than being stuck there.

He paused for a second, wondering if he should go on. I looked at him with an encouraging smile and he spoke again.

\- I felt like I didn’t belong in the maze. Of course, none of us really did but some had managed to adjust. I never did. Every day was a challenge. So one day, while everyone was asleep, I got up and just as the doors opened, I went into the maze. I climbed the highest wall I could find and I…

He stopped, his voice breaking. I took his hands and pressed them against mine. 

\- And I jumped, he finished. I just couldn’t take it anymore. I knew we wouldn’t be getting out of there anytime soon so I did the only thing that I thought would free me. But then, Minho found me and patched me up. He really was the only friend I could count on in all those years. And no one ever knew. Now… Thomas.

He chuckled.

\- Thomas… Where do I even begin? It had been a year since Minho had found me out there. The following year, all I did was work for hours everyday to take my mind off awful thoughts. I had nothing to live for. I didn’t want to live anymore, I was forced to. And then, that day, when the box came back up… I don’t know how to describe what I felt but I just knew then, just at the sight of him that things would get better. I quickly grew to like him. Really like him. I showed him the glade, explained him everything he needed to know. Then we went at the fire camp and spent most of the night talking, away from the others. Not because I particularly wanted to but because he needed someone to talk to. And the fact that he had chosen me among everyone else… it felt bloody amazing. For the first time in a long time, I had found someone who I wanted to spend time with… someone I wanted to be with. Of course, I didn’t have much time to dwell on that since we were so busy trying to figure out a way out of that damn place.

\- Did you ever tell him?

The words had escaped me before I knew what I was saying. I carefully looked at him to see if he was bothered.

\- It’s okay, he said. No, I never told him. He has so much to worry about… this would just confuse him and trust me, we don’t need a confused Thomas right now.

We both chuckled. He had a point. We laid there, on the grass beneath the sky, enjoying the quiet. It was nice, I could’ve easily gotten used to that. After a moment, I noticed a tear rolling down his cheek. And I understood. After everything he had told me, of course he was worried about Thomas being missing. He was the only person who had made him feel important. I put a hand on his shoulder.

\- We’ll find him, I said. I promise.  
\- The thought of losing him makes me sick, Teresa, he whispered.  
\- I know…

After a while, he straightened up, as did I, and he did something I didn’t expect. He came to me and awkwardly hugged me.

\- Thanks, Teresa. I mean it.

I hugged him back. I had been feeling so lonely these past few days, knowing that I would have to betray them at some point, that I started crying. Every feeling I had been trying to hide came rushing back and it tear me apart. Sobbing, I laid my head on his shoulder and cried like a child.

\- Hey, what’s going on? Are you okay? Newt asked.  
\- I’m fine. I’m just exhausted.  
\- I know you care about him too. And you’re right. We are going to find him.

He pulled away to look at me.

\- I’m here if you ever want to talk, okay?

I don’t deserve him. That was my first thought. I didn’t deserve this soft, sweet boy who had been through hell, partly because of me.

\- I’ll keep that in mind, I said, a sad smile on my face.

We said goodnight and headed for our rooms. That night, I barely slept. I hadn’t been able to stop thinking about what had just happened. It was the first time in a long time that I had had a deep conversation with someone. And for some reason, I was glad that someone had been Newt.


	2. Eagerly Awaited Reunion

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One more emotional chapter to come!  
> Hope you guys enjoy reading this as much as I enjoy writing it.

I woke up the next morning, feeling surprisingly good. I hadn’t felt that way in a long time and I knew it was thanks to my chat with Newt and also just knowing that I could go to him if I ever felt like it. It was still early but the sun had already risen. It had been so hot that I had decided to leave the window opened. Now, in the early morning, the fresh wind caressing my skin felt good. I thought about last night, the memory still fresh in my mind. This had been unexpected but not unpleasant. I thought about everything Newt had said, from his suicide attempt to his feelings for Thomas. I felt really bad for him. I could tell that he needed to get that off his chest and I was glad he had decided to confide in me. Lost in thought, I allowed myself to stay in bed for another five minutes because I knew we had a long day ahead of us. I casted a glance at the room. It was tiny but I felt comfortable there. A wooden desk, placed against the wall next to the wardrobe, gave the impression that it could fall apart at any moment. I thought about the people who used to live here. What had happened to them? Had they survived the Flare? Probably not. I wasn’t even sure there were any people left beside the ones we knew.

I summed up what we had to do today. The plan was simple. Look for Thomas and Brenda all over the city before heading for the mountains. Jorge couldn’t bring himself to abandon her, not before doing his absolute best to find her. The same applied to us, of course. We wouldn’t leave Thomas behind if there was still a chance we could find him. I got up and put some clothes on. I had been wearing the same jean and shirt since we had escaped from WICKED so finding new ones in the wardrobe got me to smile genuinely for the first time in a long time.  
As I was getting ready, I heard voices I didn’t recognise coming from outside the house. I looked out of the window and saw three armed men heading towards our house. It made my blood boil. I froze. How the hell had they found us? I did a quick thinking and discreetly got to the window to listen to what they were saying.

\- Inside. Heat signatures.  
\- On my signal.

Shit. WICKED agents. Normally, I wouldn’t have fought them, but Thomas was still missing. I couldn’t risk blowing my cover by letting them take us. There wasn’t enough time to wake everyone up, I had to improvise. I grabbed the gun placed on the nightstand and quietly got out of my room. Jorge was still deeply asleep on the filthy couch we had retrieved from the abandoned house next to ours. The front door was right across the room so I bent down and pointed the gun at it, waiting fearfully. At this moment, Newt got out of his room and saw me, gun in hand.

\- What the bloody…  
\- Don’t !

I raised my hand to make him stop moving. He looked confused. I indicated the front door.

\- 3 men. Armed. Go get your gun.

He slipped away to his room and came back, pointing his gun at the door.  
Seconds later, one of them knocked the door down which crushed on the ground. Newt didn’t hesitate and shot the man down. He fell as the other two hid outside.

\- Fuck!, we heard one of them screaming.

The noise had woken Jorge up. Minho got in the room straight after.

\- What the hell was that? he asked, taken aback.  
\- WICKED agents, two of them are still here, Newt said, out-of-breath.  
\- Everyone step back, Jorge warned. I got this.

We all looked at each other, confused. He went to the kitchen and came back, a hand grenade in his hand.

\- Wow, you’re sure about this? asked Minho, hesitating.  
\- Don’t worry Hermano, it’s nothing I haven’t done before.

He quietly moved forward and leaned against the wall.

\- Behind the couch, he whispered. Now!

We hurried up and lied down, covering our ears.  
Jorge threw the grenade through the front door which was now on the ground. It blew up, making a terrible noise. Smoke infiltrated the house, making it hard for us to breathe properly.

\- Everybody out, now! Jorge yelled. Use the back exit!

We all ran like hell until we got outside, coughing. Breathless, we sat in the grass.

\- Everyone okay? asked Newt.  
\- We’re fine, we responded at the same time.

A minute later, Minho got up and asked what everyone was thinking.

\- How the hell did they find us?  
\- I don’t know, Jorge answered. They must’ve been in the area looking for us. I don’t think they knew exactly where we were. They just got lucky. Well… not so much, all things considered.  
\- We better get moving, Newt said. The sun is up and we have an entire city to search. I’m not leaving without Thomas.  
\- And I’m not leaving without Brenda, said Jorge, getting up. Let’s go!

We all got to our feet and bypassed the house.  
I went ahead of them when suddenly, I felt an unbearable pain in the back of my head. I fell on the ground before realizing someone had stroke me hard. I felt a hand pulling me up and a gun against my skull. I froze.

\- Don’t make a sound, a voice whispered.  
\- Hey Teresa, where are y-

Newt’s voice trailed off when he saw me, held hostage by one of the WICKED agent. He grabbed his gun and pointed it at the man. Jorge, Minho and Frypan had stopped moving, not daring to breathe.

\- One hell of a mess you made out there, the man said to Jorge.  
\- Yeah well… You did wake me up. This doesn’t go unpunished.  
\- You think this is some kind of joke? Drop your gun and surrender now, all of you.

The man looked hysterical. His right leg was bleeding and he was having a hard time standing up.

\- How long before you bleed out? Minho asked, looking at him with contempt.  
\- Oh, I would say about half an hour, the man said, as if it was no big deal. Plenty of time for me to put a bullet in the lady’s brain.  
\- Let her go or I’ll put one in yours, Newt warned. 

The gun against my head paralysed me. I couldn’t move without him squeezing me tighter. 

\- Brave little fella, ain’t you? the man mocked.

He pulled me closer.

\- That your boyfriend?

Suddenly, without meaning you, I started laughing. My boyfriend? The man looked confused and Minho decided to jump at the chance.

\- Cranks!, he yelled.

It all happened in a split second. The man turned around to look at the non existent cranks, I bent down and Newt shot him down.

Newt rushed over me, checking the back of my head.

\- I’m okay, I said. I’m okay.

I got up, shaking, and hugged him. It was the only thing I could think of doing. Surprised, he hugged me back, holding me tight. We had now hugged twice in twelve hours and I couldn’t say I disliked it. We pulled away and I looked at him, grinning.

\- What are you smiling about, you weirdo? he asked, smiling too.  
\- Thanks for the rescue, handsome, I said, winking.

We burst out laughing. It really felt good, having him as a friend. I hoped he felt that way about me too. We all sat on the sidewalk near the house, allowing ourselves a few minutes to recover from what had just happened.

After a while, we set off in the direction of the city. The sun was now high in the sky and the fresh wind I had felt earlier was gone. We walked for about three hours, searching every house and building we passed. After a while, we decided to take a break. We ate and drank from our meagre food supply and rested for a few minutes.  
We got back on the road, hoping we would find Thomas and Brenda as soon as possible. We were all exhausted when we finally got to a busy area where a lot of cranks seemed to be living. I wondered for how long they had been living here. Judging by their advanced stage of decomposition, I’d say a decade. But I focused on how all of this would eventually lead to a cure and the guilt that threatened to overwhelm me went away.

\- How are we even going to find them? Frypan said. For all we know they might be on their way to the mountains right now.  
\- They’re not, Jorge said suddenly.

He indicated an old building where a lot of people seemed to be heading.

\- I know the guy who runs this place. His name’s Marcus. He’s an absolute idiot but if anyone can help us, it’s him.

We didn’t ask questions, too tired to even want to know how Jorge knew him. We got to the front of the building five minutes later. There seemed to be some kind of party going on inside because we heard loud music. When the man called Marcus saw us approaching, he smiled, showing his filthy teeth.

\- Jorge, what an unexpected surprise! You brought friends, I didn’t know you had any!  
\- Marcus, you fool, Jorge said, laughing. Long time no see! I thought I’d pay you a visit. And yes, old man, I do have friends. Speaking of friends, you haven’t seen Brenda running around, have you?  
\- I actually have!, Marcus said. She got here a couple of hours ago with a cute black haired boy. She was looking for you and… your new friends.

We sighed with relief. Finally, some good news!

\- Fantastic, Jorge said. You don’t mind us going inside to look for them?  
\- Of course not, please!

We were about to enter the building when Marcus spoke again.

\- Jorge? You seem to have forgot something.

His tone was mischievous and I just had a feeling things were about to get ugly.

\- And what is that? Jorge asked.  
\- The price of admission.

A woman next to Marcus handed us a bottle. Jorge let out a sigh.

\- I was afraid it would have to come to this, he said calmly.

With a rapidity I didn’t know he possessed, Jorge seized the bottle and smashed it on Marcus’s head. The man fell on the ground but Jorge pulled him up, the broken bottle against his throat.

\- You know me, Marcus. I don’t like repeating myself. But, for you, I’m willing to try. So I’m going to ask you again, very nicely. Think, before you answer. Think deeply of how I’m going to cut your throat if you don’t give me a satisfying answer. Where are th-  
\- They’re in the basement! Marcus said, panicked. My guys tied them up when they heard they were looking for you.  
\- That’s more like it.

Jorge let go of Marcus and turned to us, satisfied.

\- Sorry about that. Let’s go get them.

We entered the building and headed for the basement. The excitement of seeing Thomas again was something I couldn’t describe. It only had been a few days, yet I had missed him a lot. But it was nothing compared to Newt. The blond boy practically ran downstairs and opened the door on his right. A huge grin on his face, he entered the room.

\- Tommy!


	3. The Beginning of The End

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's the last chapter. I'm particularly proud of this one so let me know what you think!  
> I love Teresa with all my heart, so writing this was amazing.  
> Enjoy!

\- Tommy!

I caught up with Newt just in time to see the blond boy throwing himself into Thomas’s arms.

\- Wow, easy there, buddy! Thomas said, a huge smile on his face, hugging him back.

I watched them both, tears in my eyes. I was relieved but also glad to witness this moment. Anyone could tell how much they cared about each other and I found myself hoping Thomas would feel the same way Newt felt about him. They pulled away and I hugged Thomas, realizing how I had missed him.  
Minho and Jorge got in the room shortly afterwards, both relieved. Jorge ran to Brenda, checking on her.

\- Did they do something to you? he asked, concerned. I swear if they put a finger on-  
\- Jorge, I’m fine! I assure you, I’m fine, Brenda said, reassuring him.

He looked at her with a mix of relief and fear.

\- I will never leave you again, he said, his voice breaking.  
\- I know you won’t. I know.

She gave him a hug and Minho cleared his throat.

\- We should probably go, he said. Frypan is up there making sure Marcus behaves.  
\- You’re right, Jorge responded, pulling himself together. Let’s go.

We left the dusty basement to find Frypan sitting in Marcus’s chair, obviously enjoying himself. He got up when he saw us, ready to leave.

\- Thanks for everything, you imbecile, Jorge said to Marcus who was still shaking.

At last, we set off towards the mountains. We walked for about two hours before deciding to spend the night in a little cave we found. Judging by the clouds gathering above us, we could tell a storm was coming. We lit a fire on so that we could heat the food we had left. We ate while telling Thomas and Brenda about the visit the WICKED agents had paid us. We learned from them that a crank had nearly managed to kill Brenda. We spent the rest of the evening resting and occasionally talking before everyone went to sleep. I laid down, exhausted, ready to fall asleep when I heard hesitating footsteps coming from behind me. I turned around to see Newt, smiling down at me.

\- Hey, you, I said, enjoying his company more and more.  
\- Hey. Do you mind if I sit with you for a while?, he asked, unsure.  
\- You know I don’t.

He sat next to me and we stayed like this, in silence, for a few minutes. The next words that came out of his mouth surprised me.

\- What are we, Teresa?  
\- What do you mean? I asked, confused.  
\- You know… You and me. What are we? Three days ago, we had pretty much never talked to each other unless it was necessary. And then, that night when I opened up to you… Don’t get me wrong, it felt really good and I’m glad it was you, it was just unexpected.

I thought about it for a minute and decided to answer as honestly as possible.

\- You’re right. It was unexpected. But on the other hand… was it really? I’m Thomas’s best friend and you’re his…

I stopped, wondering how to best express myself.

\- You’re the person he cares the most about. And I’m not saying that to make you happy, you just are. So… I guess that this is what drew us closer. We both have a special connection with him, we both care about him. It’s pretty logic to me that we were bound to get along.

We chuckled and I felt warmth, just as I had been feeling two days ago when I had realized what an amazing person Newt was.

\- You’re probably right, he said.  
\- Of course I am, I teased.

I waited a moment before asking him what I had meant to ask earlier.

\- So you’re glad to have Thomas back?

I looked away, an innocent grin on my face.

\- What… I mean you… Why would you-  
\- Oh come on! I said, now laughing.  
\- What do you mean ‘‘come on’’ ? Yes, I’m glad to have him back but so are you and so is Minho and…

I burst out laughing, unable to stop.

\- What are you laughing about? he asked, smiling too.  
\- Oh Newt, I said, this little gay panic situation that you’re having right now is absolutely hilarious.  
\- I’m not having a… what did you call it? A gay panic situation? Ridiculous.  
\- Don’t worry about it, I said, trying to calm myself down.

Deep down, I knew Newt knew exactly what I was talking about.  
Once again, being around him felt amazing. We could laugh about stuff that didn’t matter and escape our reality for a few minutes.

\- Anyway, he said, more seriously. It’s not like I can tell him how I feel.  
\- Why not? I asked.  
\- Have you seen where we are? How messed up our lives are? In case you forgot, we’ve been running for days, trying to escape people who are hunting us down, people who want to turn us into lab rats. Telling him about my feelings would just distract him. And me. For all we know, WICKED might barge in now and take us back there.

He looked at me, his eyes filled with sadness and disappointment. He had a point, WICKED could barge in at any moment because WICKED was simply waiting for my call. I felt sick. Newt was terrified of going back there and it was going to happen anyway, because of me. But I thought about how everything Newt and the others were going through would eventually lead to a cure and I put those guilty thoughts aside.

\- Newt, I said softly. Everything you just said is exactly the reason why you should tell him, don’t you think? It could all end tomorrow, so why not risk it all?

His eyes became filled with tears and I took his hands.

\- What if it changes everything, Teresa?, he asked. What if he doesn’t want more? It would just crush me and I’m not sure I could handle this.  
\- You wanna know something? I said. I think the way you guys care about each other speaks for itself. You and Minho are Thomas’s whole world. He loves you both very much but he doesn’t like Minho the same way he likes you. I noticed that several times. His love for you is a different type of love. I think he feels the same way you do even though he might not know it yet. And we can’t really blame, can we? He’s always running around trying to save everyone.

Newt chuckled and wiped a tear.

\- How come I never realized how good of a friend you were?

I felt guilt overwhelm me, once again. I quickly pushed it aside to focus on Newt.

\- I could ask the same thing about you, I responded, genuinely smiling. 

We looked at each other and this time, we both drew closer and hugged. I didn’t think I could ever get tired of holding him. It was everything I could ask for. We pulled away and we stayed there, quiet, hearing the storm getting closer.

We must’ve fell asleep because when I woke up, Newt’s head was pressed against my leg and it had started raining. I looked at him, looking so innocent and adorable. I carefully placed his head on Jorge’s thick jacket and got up to stretch my legs when I saw Thomas sitting near the cave’s entrance. I joined him, wondering what he had on his mind.

\- Can’t sleep? I asked, sitting next to him.

He startled but relaxed when he saw me.

\- I didn’t get a proper sleep in two weeks, he responded. Apparently, being against the world’s most resourceful organization deprives you from anything good.

He looked exhausted. It hurt me, seeing him like this. I remembered him before the maze, always looking on the bright side of things. Always feeling hopeful. This person was gone, now. All was left was this tired yet determined man, willing to do anything to keep his friends from danger.

\- What happens after we find the Right Arm?, Thomas asked.  
\- Jorge said they would take us somewhere safe, I said. Somewhere WICKED won’t be able to find us.

I hated myself for lying to him so easily.

\- What happened between you two? Thomas asked, pointing out Newt who was still sleeping.

This sudden change of subject surprised me.

\- What do you mean? I asked.  
\- You seemed to be having a lot of fun earlier, he said. I heard you guys laughing.

He didn’t seem bothered at all which oddly made me happy.

\- Yeah… He’s a great guy, I said, meaning every word.  
\- So what drew you guys closer?

There it was. The question I knew was coming. I didn’t know what to tell him. On one hand, I wanted Newt to be the one to tell him how he felt. But on the other hand, I didn’t know how much time they had left so I opted for the second option.

\- You did, silly, I said softly.

Thomas looked at me, confused.

\- What do you mean?

I sighed, amused by how blind he could be.

\- Two days ago, I found Newt crying while everyone was asleep. I went to him and we talked for a while.  
\- Crying? Thomas asked. Why was he crying?

I turned to look at Newt, looking so peaceful with his eyes closed. If there was one person who deserved to be happy, it was him.

\- He was crying because he was worried sick about you, I said, turning back to face Thomas. You had just vanished a few hours ago and he was terrified that he would never see you again.

Thomas opened his mouth to speak but closed it almost immediately. He didn’t know what to say. He stayed silent for a minute, trying to process what I had just told him.

\- Are you okay? I asked, concerned.  
\- Yeah it’s just… I hadn’t realized how much he…

His voice trailed off so I finished for him.

\- How much he cares about you?  
\- Yeah… I mean, he’s my best friend and we’ve been through hell together so of course we care about each other but this almost sounds like…

Once again, he stopped talking. I knew he wasn’t ready to admit it because saying it out loud would make it real. But I couldn’t ignore what was right in front of me. These two loved each other, it was obvious, anyone could’ve said so.

\- Thomas, I said softly, when the world sends you a blessing like this, you take it without asking questions. Not many people get to have what you two have.  
\- I don’t even know how I feel about this, Teresa.  
\- I think you do. You just never really thought about it because of how screwed up our situation is, you had other things to think about. But deep down, I think you’ve always known.

His eyes met mine and I could tell by his expression that he now knew. What amazed me the most is how close they had gotten despite not remembering anything of their lives before the maze. They were meant to be together, I knew that for sure.

\- I don’t know what to do, Teresa, he confessed, his voice quivering. I’m already so exhausted and terrified that we won’t make it back from this. I’m scared for everybody and I don’t think I could handle losing more people. I have so much to worry about and now this… I don’t know what to do, I just don’t, I can’t even…

He started crying and buried his face in my shoulders. I held him, my eyes becoming filled with tears.

\- It’s okay, I said, stroking his hair. It’s okay. I’m sorry Thomas, I’m so sorry.

I wasn’t even sure he could hear me but saying it felt good. Because I really was sorry, more than anything I had ever felt.  
He looked at me, tears rushing down his face. He looked so broken. It killed me, seeing him like this.

\- You know, I said, you’re probably going to face a lot of awful things in the days to come. But telling Newt how you feel is not one of them, okay? It’s going to put a huge smile on your face and on his. Because now, you both know how you feel about each other. It took some time but you finally do.  
\- What if I don’t feel the same way? he said, sobbing. What if I don’t feel… more?  
\- Oh Thomas… your tears suggest otherwise.

He weakly smiled at me and laid down, looking at the sky. I laid down next to him and we stayed silent for a few minutes. It rained a lot now. I couldn’t say I disliked it because a fresh wind had risen up, gently caressing my skin. I closed my eyes, trying to clear my head. We would likely get to the Right Arm tomorrow night. I would call WICKED then.

This day had been emotionally and physically tiring as hell so when I finally fell asleep, I didn’t wake up until ten hours later. The rain was gone and the sun was up. We had a whole new day of walking and complaining ahead of us so I got up, stretched my legs and got ready.

Half an hour later, we were back on the scorch. The heat from the sun was unbearable but we had to keep going. Thomas and Newt were in front of us while I tried to keep up with Jorge and Brenda next to me. The mountains were getting closer minute by minute.  
When we realized that it would only take us another two hours to reach the mountains, we stopped and ate our very last food supplies. A few minutes later, I noticed Thomas and Newt a few meters away, sitting next to each other, talking. From what I could see, it seemed serious. But then, I saw them laughing awkwardly and my heart filled with joy.

\- Let’s hit the road! 

Jorge had apparently gained enough strength to travel those last kilometres.  
I turned back to look at Newt and Thomas and saw the blond boy timidly kissing Thomas on his right cheek. They were both grinning like idiots. Thomas then took Newt’s arm and helped him up.

We got back on the road and at the end of the afternoon, we finally arrived at what seemed to be the Right Arm’s base of operation, located deep in the mountain. After introducing ourselves and explaining how we had gotten here, they told us about their plan of leaving tomorrow night for a place called the Safe Haven. Knowing that, I couldn’t wait any longer. I had to contact WICKED tonight.

An hour later, everyone was asleep. I decided to take this opportunity to do the thing I dreaded the most. I hated everything about this but I had to do it. The fate of humanity was literally in my hands. I reached my bag and took out the radio I had stolen two days ago. I dialled a short number which was directly connected to Dr Paige’s office. She had given it to me at the same time as she had given me back my memories. I waited a bit, hearing my heart pounding in my chest.

\- Hello?

It was her. It really was her. I immediately recognized her soft yet harsh voice, this voice I used to love so much.

\- It’s me, Doctor Paige, I said. It’s Teresa.  
\- Teresa! My goodness, are you alright?

The concern in her voice was genuine. It was like nothing had changed, as if I was still the little girl happy to hear her favorite Doctor’s voice. I suppressed a sob.

\- I’m okay, I said, trying to keep it together.  
\- Did you find the Right Arm’s location?  
\- We’re at their base of operation, Doctor Paige. We found it.

My eyes filled with tears. I was betraying everyone I cared about. I knew it wouldn’t be easy, I just didn’t expect it to hurt this much.

\- You did a great job, Teresa. We’re locating your geographic coordinates right now.  
\- Okay, I said, my voice trembling.

She must’ve realized something was wrong. It was really hard to keep my voice steady.

\- Teresa? Are you okay, honey?

Tears were rushing down my face, now. It hurt so much.

\- Am I doing the right thing, Doctor Paige? I asked, my voice breaking. Are we even sure that this will help us find a cure? Am I betraying my best friends for nothing?  
\- It is completely normal for you to ask yourself those questions, honey. This is what makes you human. I would be confused if you weren’t upset about this, to be honest.

She always knew what to say to make me feel better. Her next words somehow calmed me down.

\- In a few months, a few years, when we find this cure… you are going to feel so proud of yourself, honey. You’re saving the human race. Even if your friends feel like they will never forgive you, I assure you that they will come around.

I wiped my tears and pulled myself together.

\- When will you get here? I asked.  
\- Tomorrow evening, probably.

This gave me about 19 hours to spend with my friends. I promised myself to enjoy these final moments as much as I could.

\- Teresa?

Her voice really was captivating. You would almost want to listen to her talking for hours. Almost.

\- Yes, Doctor Paige?

A silence. I could hear her breathe through the radio.

\- Say it, honey.

I immediately understood. This meant that my next words would be the end of this conversation. After that, I would only have to wait for them to come. I thought about Thomas, Newt, Minho, Frypan, Jorge, Brenda. I was saving them. I was saving all of them. I brought the radio closer to my mouth and said the words that I had learned years ago.

\- WICKED is good.


End file.
